Winnicott’s Concept of the “Good Enough Mother”

Do we need to be perfect mothers in order to raise healthy and happy children? According to Donald Winnicott, a British psychoanalyst who contributed greatly to our understanding of children's emotional development, the answer is no. In his well-known paper "The Good Enough Mother," Winnicott describes the concept of the “good enough mother” as someone who doesn't have to be perfect, just sufficient – and that's more fulfilling than we might think.

Winnicott’s central principle is that mothers need to be good enough, not perfect. In other words, a mother who is simply fine and able to provide attention and warmth to her child, even if she doesn’t always succeed in being ideal, is sufficient to provide the necessary support for the child’s healthy development. This understanding allows mothers not to feel guilty about not always being perfect, but rather to focus on giving what they can in a good and meaningful way.

Motherhood circles are a wonderful place to apply Winnicott’s ideas. When mothers come together to share experiences, insights, and challenges, they create a supportive community. In these circles, each mother brings her strengths and weaknesses, and they support one another exactly as they are. The knowledge gained in these circles is based on Winnicott’s principle – that it’s about being good enough, not about striving for perfection.

In motherhood circles, there is space to openly share both difficult moments and joyful ones. It is a place where every mother can receive support and understanding, exactly as she is – with all her flaws and strengths. This preparation for real life, where not everything is perfect, can ease the guilt that often accompanies motherhood and strengthen the belief in their ability to be a “good enough mother.”

Winnicott’s article "The Good Enough Mother" is an important reminder that we don’t need to be perfect to be great mothers. The motherhood circles I lead reflect this concept beautifully – they provide a space for genuine connection, mutual support, and the understanding that perfection is not the goal but rather a process.

Every mother can find a place where she feels that she is enough just as she is, and that she is not alone in this journey. And that, ultimately, is what truly matters – to be present and sufficient, exactly as you are.

I am here to listen and support you. If you would like to join my next motherhood circle and be part of a caring and supportive community, please click here for more details and registration.